"And the weather in Newcastle is very similar to here in Paris..."

Similar my a***. I don't recall a howling gale and torrential rainstorm in Paris. How I've missed the North-East.

I spent all of yesterday in varying types of vehicle. I took the train to Paris, and was once again amazed at how France has such clean, efficient, cheap public transport, when everybody has a car and nobody uses it. Odd.

I was meant to be meeting Rachel, who was on the TEFL course with me and is currently working in Paris teaching people who work in the Pompidou Centre, who was also looking after a lot of my stuff. Unfortunately, she'd had an extra class sprung on her and had to dash off and prepare that, so I went for lunch on my own. I found a little cafe and sat for a long time drinking a glass of white Burgundy (it appeals to my sense of irony) and reading Gide, which is really pushing the boundaries between bohemian and pretentious, and then ate a sandwich on the train to the airport.

I managed to flirt my way onto my flight with 22kg of luggage and three carry-on items, which I was very proud of, and arrived home in time for a civilised takeaway with my parents and brother. I also decided to mark my return to the UK by getting a new contract with a shiny new phone, which has the advantage of being shiny, and new and all, but which has the disadvantage of me not being to use it (possibly not the phone's fault?). But it gives me something to play with, which is fun. If anyone wants to email me their number I'd be very grateful, cos I've lost everyone's!