Mild-to-moderate angst

Aargh, I'm doing that thing again, where it would have been perfectly possible for me to complete all the things I am supposed to do before going out but, because I am anxious about the social situation in question, I procrastinate so I can then say, 'Oh, I haven't finished my work... can't go out/come camping... sorry...'

I don't want to give in to my conniving subconscious by allowing myself to ring and cancel, especially as I probably would regret it, but on the other hand I do need to do my work. And, because I wish to spite the Sleazy Bastard by writing watertight minutes that record the hearing accurately but yet make it clear I think both he and his behaviour are/were despicable, I also want to do it well.

Argh.

Also, I've rashly committed/been hustled by circumstances into committing to get married on 10th April next year. I am very fond of this time of year, and so this decision was bolstered by a glorious gardening-filled day on Monday, but now it is grim and pissing it down and I'm tempted to totally screw Nik's family's plans up and ask my parents to un-book the church by defaulting to the summer. Someone remind me this could equally happen in July and it's not the end of the world if it rains anyway.